It’s Been A Year

On this day last year, I said goodbye to so someone very special in my life, someone who changed the way I see life, someone who made the best out of things. I kissed him goodbye at the airport. It had been an adventure for us both knowing we just knew each other for a while.

I did not grow in just one night but instead it took a year of emotional and mental struggle. And every time I feel bad about something I always remember the things he said.

“Only you can make yourself happy, you shouldn’t depend on others to make yourself happy.”

It took me a year to grow from his words. A beautiful process and a mind revelation. I’ve learned so much from him, and now I couldn’t love myself even more.

He defined happiness in a non selfish way, in a way that my happiness can bring other kinds of happiness.

Because of this, I started to do the things I love, which was art and I found so much closure in acting, Javanese dance and drawing. I found my muse. I found my people. I evolve to a more calmer person than I was before. I found peace. I didn’t feel the need to strive in art but I got what I needed; peace. A peaceful mind and state of well being.

And then I found myself, and I loved myself even more than that. I did not seek for people’s validation but I was in love with myself even more. A joy that I could not express but within myself.

I couldn’t believe that I was evolving a lot from finding my happiness to self-love. It was a moment of joy and triumph for myself.

When I am in a bad state, I am able to see the good in whatever situation I am in. Thus I never regret. Regret won’t bring me anywhere. And that’s how I was able to live my life.

It’s a beautiful feeling to go on with my life.


I may not be able to meet him again, but I never regret what I have done to be with him which was flying 600 miles.

I just want to say that I am blessed, happy and thankful that I’ve met you.


Thank you Peder.