TDL.13 – “I do not want to get stucked at one place”

My biggest fear is to get stucked in one place for a long time and never having the chance to travel. And just now I met someone that brought my spirit back to life.

As you see, I became very realistic and somehow materialistic because my clinical dental had eat my energy and money out. And then rubbish men keep coming and asking me for a hand in marriage to be a submissive housewife. I got fed up and put up a high standards when it comes towards men I want to be with (this is crazy).

Before I was hoping to travel and give free dental treatment. My dream job was to travel to rural places in Africa and Amazon and give free dental treatment. I wanted to do that because I wanted to see the world and see more culture. I wanted to see the uniqueness of people while working.

But then I fall into the idea of having a life pattern, like finishing school, get a job, get married and have children. I went on with that path because I felt so dead inside. Because I stopped believing that I could still see the world.

I still had that dream, inside of me I wanted to travel and give free dental treatment badly. I still have that but because I was blurred and stuffed up with reality I couldn’t hear my heart’s voice.

So just a few days ago I met someone from couchsurfing, his name was Peder from Sweden and we talked a lot whil he was gathering with other couchsurfing members. Peder was a 31 year old medical student and travelling from Sweden to Indonesia by CYCLE (he started cycling from singapore to be exact).

We shared a lot of stories together on traveling abroad and I was amazed that he managed to cycle from Sweden to South Africa, and also from Sweden to China.

The next day, Peder and I (with his friend, Pontus) went to see the other side of Jakarta like the neighborhood at Sunda Kelapa and then to the Petak Sembilan market where you could find some skinned frogs. Our conversation grew deeper and we shared the same fear; “I do not want to get stucked up in one place and fall into the life pattern.”

I am always afraid with the life pattern and moreover if I get married I could not be as much free as before or even more if I have a husband who stays at one place and never go out to see the world, I would definitely die. Because all the other men out there only wants to settle down and have a stable family.

I want to see the world, I want my job to travel and do good for the world, I want to travel with my family too so we could see the world.

To me, to settle down means traveling with your loved ones and do the things you love together.

Peder traveled every now and then. He managed to save up and cycled his way through the land. Then he told me that after he finishes medical school and become a doctor, save up a little, he wants to travel to Africa and be a doctor there. I was amazed too, that was my dream that I buried it deep inside. Those old dreams I feel the need not to be taken out because I was too realistic and eventually became materialistic.

I told peder my dreams too, and that I was once working to get there, and that I had fallen to the normal life pattern and is also afraid to face it.

I accompanied Peder the next day which was his last day in Jakarta. I drove around the city with him to see some museum starting from museum textile, national museum and the cemetery museum, we also went to Plaza Semanggi to take some pictures of the view of Jakarta from up and also ate at Jalan Sabang.

We kept on talking about how we wanted to see life more and how travelling made us to be more alive. He encouraged me to cycle too and travel with it. And not let me have more excuses.

Then we parted and said goodbye to each other.

At one point, Peder put my spirit back and out there to take the courage and seize the chance available to travel every now and then. He made me believe that I could do the same as he did too. I was very lucky to meet him and have him around. I was so honored. I could not be more thankful than this.

I hope that one day with the spirit I have I will do what I have always dreamed of.

I hope that I could also find someone who wants the same thing too.

I hope that I one day am no longer stuck.

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